Facing a Crisis Pregnancy?

If you are facing a crisis pregnancy, whether it is due to an unplanned pregnancy or because you have received an adverse prenatal diagnosis, some important things you need to know are: you are not alone, you have options and you have time to think about your options.
Naturally, when we are in a crisis situation we want to fix things as soon as possible. The problem is, in a crisis pregnancy we will experience a whole range of emotions: shock, anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Unfortunately, these emotions don't always follow one another in an orderly fashion. Most commonly, we will go back and forth between these emotions. To make it even more difficult we may have a bunch of different feelings about the pregnancy going on all at the same time: we may be scared, happy, excited and even angry about the pregnancy all at once.

It is important that you know, these conflicting feelings are completely normal. Unfortunately, many women will act on these emotions quickly and will terminate their pregnancy right away before they have even considered and educated themselves on their options. For some women, they act so quickly that in the end they very much regret their decision to terminate. Others find that their initial thought is to terminate their pregnancy, but once they educate themselves on the risks involved in an abortion and spend time really contemplating their options, they are relieved that they did not go through with terminating.

It is important that you understand, even though you may be really scared and may be having really negative thoughts towards your pregnancy, you need to take time to really think this through. I believe a woman who really educates herself on her options is going to make a decision that she can live with for the rest of her life. As difficult as this is to do, the best thing you can do for yourself is to try and look beyond the here and now (that is much easier said than done, I know). The fact is, you may be in situation right now where none of your options seem particularly good. If that is the case, you may need to consider which one of these options you can best live with for the rest of your life. Some women find it helpful to write down their three options and then make a list of pros and cons for each.

Whatever your situation is, the decision you make is going to be life-changing. A decision like this deserves much thought. Again, you need to know that you do not need to go through this alone. You need to find someone who is removed from the situation and is able to clearly see beyond the here and now. Sometimes just talking through everything helps make sense of it all. If you are looking for a listening ear, visit www.capss.com to find a Pregnancy Centre near you.

The Centres listed on the CAPSS website are non-profit Christian organizations designed to walk through a crisis pregnancy with you. You will find non-judgemental, caring, compassionate support. Pregnancy Centres will not refer for abortion but will educate you on the risks involved physically and emotionally with an abortion. They will spend time listening to your concerns and discussing your options with you.

Because this blog's focus is on Down syndrome, over the next few weeks I hope to focus on facing an adverse prenatal diagnosis. Next week, I want to look at the accuracy of prenatal testing and the risks involved with these tests. The following weeks I hope to dedicate each week to exploring one option: abortion, adoption, parenting.

A Helpful New Technology?

In the news this past week: scientists in California have developed a new rapid prenatal test which gives a diagnosis of Down syndrome in only two hours as opposed to the two weeks expectant parents currently wait after receiving an amnio or chorionic villus sampling.
The scientists believe this test will be available in the States in less than a year. They also expect this new method will lead to an even simpler diagnosis of Down syndrome through a routine test of the expectant mother's blood.
But what is the motivation behind easier and quicker diagnosis and why is the government spending all this money on prenatal diagnoses when it could be, I'm sure, better used to enhance the quality of life for people with Down syndrome.
I've come across many women who say that they would request prenatal testing to find out if there was anything wrong with their baby but not with the intent to terminate the pregnancy only to prepare themselves or so that, if necessary, in-utero surgery could be performed. The problem is I don't believe these women represent a large percentage of the population. Unfortunately, 90-95% of expectant mothers would terminate.
So, what does this easier testing mean? I fear it means that we are looking at a very near future where all expectant mothers will be given a simple blood test. I think the number of women requesting testing will increase (that is assuming it isn't made mandatory) since it is much less invasive and not as risky as an amnio. In turn, I believe the grim reality is that the number of babies with Down syndrome terminated will increase.

Great article

This past week Joni Erickson Tada wrote an article in World Magazine in response to the recommendation from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists that all women regardless of age receive prenatal testing for Down syndrome. Up until recently, they recommended that only older women who were pregnant be tested. But now, all mothers-to-be are routinely tested. If you have heard of Joni you are probably aware that she became a quadriplegic after a diving accident in 1967. Joni is now a disability advocate. This article is a wonderful testimony of what a gift people with Down syndrome are...

WORLD Magazine September 15, 2007, Vol. 22, No. 33

Down syndrome dangers

A new prenatal policy is the worst kind of social engineering | Joni Eareckson Tada

Every year we look forward to Doug volunteering at family retreats that we hold for disabled children and their moms and dads. He is young and athletic, a senior in college, handsome, articulate, and intelligent. The kids love him (and so do a few girl volunteers). When he first began volunteering, we assigned Doug to a little boy with Down syndrome. The two hit it off wonderfully. This energetic young man possessed a knack for relating to the boy; from that year onward, he always asked to be assigned to children with Down syndrome and their parents.

Recently Doug said, "Joni, when I get married, I hope that my wife and I will have a child with Down syndrome." I was startled, but chalked it up to youthful idealism. Since then, I have come to see that Doug meant what he said. He observed a special joy in children and adults with Down syndrome, as well as a godliness that strengthened his faith. He could also tell these children blessed the lives of the moms and dads to whom he administered over the years.

I thought of Doug earlier this year when the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists began recommending broader prenatal testing for Down syndrome among younger pregnant women. Up until this year, they recommended that only older women who were pregnant be tested. But now, all mothers-to-be are routinely tested. The results? Over 90 percent of pregnant women who are given a Down syndrome diagnosis choose to have an abortion.

This breaks my heart. And it translates into a strange future for the kids Doug loves. It's going to be a lonely world for them—they will have far fewer friends with Down syndrome in the future. There are 5,500 children born with Down syndrome each year; they incur from mild to moderate mental retardation. These young people will now have fewer community programs, as well as reduced funds for medical research.

This is why there are growing numbers of parents crisscrossing the continent speaking to the blessings—even advantages—of raising a Down syndrome child. These parents are sharing their stories and explaining how a Down syndrome child can bless his siblings and draw a family closer together. They say that young women who are considering abortion don't understand, nor do they realize the benefits a Down syndrome baby brings to a family. Unfortunately, the only counsel these women are receiving from their obstetrician is often a brochure.

I am deeply concerned about this trend. Abortion is now used as a "disability prevention measure." The effort to eliminate Down syndrome translates into the worst kind of social engineering: the annihilation of an entire group of people who are precious. Our alternative: Accept the love and the God-blessed joys of raising a child—a life—that God has given. Jesus says, "Bless the little children, for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Even children with Down syndrome.

A person with Down syndrome may never understand how to keep up with the Joneses or how to get over his head in debt. He or she may never be clever enough to sneak behind his spouse's back and look for an illicit affair (yes, men and women with Down syndrome do marry, and some of those marriages are honest-to-goodness models to neighbors and friends). They won't be cunning enough to know how to cheat, weave lies, or how to stab a friend in the back. People with Down syndrome may not have driver's licenses, but then again, neither do I—and I get around quite well for a quadriplegic.

That new ruling by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists is a sad reflection of the growing premise in our society that a person is "better off dead than disabled." Human beings are no longer being treated as people, but as things that can be dispensed with, altered, aborted, or euthanized. The medically fragile—whether the elderly, the unborn, or the children Doug serves—are left exposed and vulnerable in a society that has lost its moral bearings, its heart.

—Joni Eareckson Tada is founder and CEO of Joni and Friends International Disability Center

Used by permission |
(c) 2007 WORLD magazine, Asheville, NC, all rights reserved |
www.worldmag.com.

The Ups and Downs

As many of our friends and family know, we have been hoping to adopt a baby with Down syndrome. This fall marks the two year anniversary of our being an approved home for adoption. The last two years have been filled with ups and downs in our adoption journey. As it stands now...we still wait.
The reality of our situation is that about 90% of expectant parents choose to terminate their pregnancy when their baby is "diagnosed" with Down syndrome. As a result there are not many babies available for adoption. Lee and I are hoping and praying that we could be an alternative for a birth mother who is considering terminating.
Unfortunately, the frustrating part for us is that there is really no awareness or support in Canada to facilitate Down syndrome adoptions. A big part of the reason the termination rate is so high is that many doctors and geneticists give such poor outlooks and diagnoses to expectant parents and really encourage termination. They are not told what rich and rewarding lives their babies can have and are also not told there are options, there are families out there who would do anything to welcome a baby with Down syndrome into their family. Can you imagine what it must be like to be told your unborn child has Down syndrome, will likely need lots of medical care, surgeries, may not amount to much, will be a burden on you and society, and you have no options except to terminate because nobody would want this baby? Could you imagine how many lives would be saved if the medical profession changed their negative language and gave accurate information and an unbiased, positive outlook for parents. Imagine if parents were told "It is going to be okay, your baby will succeed in life and enrich your family more than you can ever imagine" or "Maybe you feel that you just cannot provide for a baby with Down syndrome at this time, it is okay, you have options, there are many support systems out there to help you with parenting, there are also many wonderful families out there who are hoping to adopt a baby with Down syndrome".
And so herein lies the reason for this blog. I am hoping God will use this for His glory, to spread awareness across Canada of the Sanctity of Human Life, not just for babies with Down syndrome but all unborn babies regardless of what society deems acceptable to give birth to. Some of our friends and family received an email from us regarding a petition the Canadian and Nova Scotia Down syndrome Societies have drawn up requesting the government to adopt an act that would require the medical profession to change their language and give positive information to birth moms. If you have not done so already please CLICK HERE to read the petition and then please, please, please sign it.
My hope is to update this blog weekly with any interesting articles, news items, etc. I come across pertaining to this issue or other closely related issues.